Uniquely Me

Budding Maple Tree outside my childhood home in Waterville, Maine

In the early days of this process of healing there were those who would say to me on occasion, "Don't go there, Sarah." That used to really bother me and now I fully understand why. My inner wisdom guided me to 'go there' and, though I was hurting, I knew it was necessary. Now, so many years later, I am deeply grateful that I followed my heart and found people who have been willing to accompany me and support me along the way without judgment. It's been both difficult and amazing and, right here right now, I can bask in a sense of accomplishment and feel full of love.

Uniquely Me

I turned and went in.

Somehow I knew I had to
and so I did.
I understood that the place
I headed was dark and complex,
but I had no idea how many layers,
how many facets,
how many crannies and crevices
 there were to explore.
I don’t know if I found everything
or if I fully understand what was.
But it doesn’t matter
because I have what I need
to turn again and move away
from the staleness and pain.
I have learned so very much and,
though there is more to do,
I can be in my life right now
as I am without constantly
feeling like I am doing something wrong,
must strive to measure up,
or have to interpret a situation
that defies definition.
I am both child and adult as
the holes left by
what was lacking are filled.
Childlike wonder and gentle confusion
merge with a loving, competent,
sage and purposeful adult
to create this someone who
is uniquely me.

Sarah Carlson

May 15, 2016