Sweet, Soft Memories

Sweet, Soft Memories

Up and over Dallas Hill,
along the ridge,
is the little red house we called home
when our first baby was born.
Down the other side,
on the shore of Saddleback Lake,
is where our love first emerged.
I visited this special part
of our world,
 and as I explored
the pain of loss was very gentle.
Instead I was filled
with sweet, soft memories
of tennis matches, moonlight hikes
bike rides to the movies,
horseback adventures -
me on Buck, you on Fire,
as we opened our hearts
to each other.
Before I headed down the road
to return to the home we shared
as our children grew,
I gazed out over the lake.
And again delightful memories
swirled all through.
Paddling, sailing, swimming,
skiing on the frozen surface.
I will always miss your physical presence,
but these memories are
 such a tender balm to my being
as I harbor them
 in my healing heart.
I’m so grateful for
sweet, soft memories
of you and me
together.

Sarah Carlson

July 29, 2018

Liberty

Liberty

Suspended in salty goodness
she lays back and relaxes.
Gazing upward she marvels
at the blueness of the sky,
glowing warmth of the sun,
soft clouds flowing gently by.
She breathes in the fresh, warm air
allowing her lungs to fill as they will.
All is in motion and yet
there is nothing that needs doing,
not right at that moment anyway.
Her mind wanders and she remembers
swimming as a child
when her nickname was ‘Fish’.
She smiles as she thinks back to
that lovely little girl
so comfortable under the water
as she frolicked in the waves.
A quiet frown comes as she feels
residual fear stir,
but then there’s a release
as she realizes they are free from all that.
Just as the tides disperse detritus,
so can all that go.
And just as the richness of the
expansive ocean fills back in,
so can she allow the bounty to come.
Another deep breath
as she feels vitality, peace, and love.
The tides flow, come and go,
in freedom.
More and more she feels safe to enfold
the liberty
of her own tides

within.

Sarah Carlson

July 24, 2018

One Degree

Sunset over Lake Champlain in Isle La Motte, VT.

I recently returned from an Appalachian Mountain Club biking vacation on the northern islands of Lake Champlain. Before I left I had my bicycle checked over at our wonderful local bike shop, Northern Lights Heart and Sports. Just before I put my bike in the car Todd, one of the owners, tweaked the angle of my seat. He smiled and said, "It was just a bit off, maybe 1 degree. But that can make a difference." As I pedaled on the beautiful Lake Champlain Bikeway on the first day I suddenly realized that I felt better on my bike. I hadn't really felt bad before, but that little adjustment did make a difference. I've been pondering that, and other things, over the past week or so. And that led to this poem.

One Degree

I’ve spent some time twisting my lens
over the years,
 have become quite adept at it.
At this point turning it as little as
one degree provides
a gentle sense of clarity and relief
that is both rightful and welcome.
Simple, quiet moments
 when what was just barely out of focus
becomes crystal clear,
melds into healing.
This is like being bathed
in a subtle, calm lightness
that both buoys and cleanses.
Or it can be a spreading sense
of fortitude that has long been there,
but feels more apparent and credible.
I often don’t even know that I’m adjusting,
but recognize the blips of awareness.
Like when the sun is at a perfect angle,
so muted shadows stretch into
a summer twilight sky
as soft clouds billow,
and you happen to gaze upwards
at just the right time.
Sweet sensations of
wonder and awe ascend,
the moment both fleeting
and timeless.
Safety and serenity reside
within and without,
and all is well.

Sarah Carlson

July 23, 2018

Time to Recharge

Time to Recharge

Having discharged both things I can define
and things I cannot,
I feel a distinctly different energy.
Some unwanted thought patterns still nibble,
but I find what I need in order
to lighten these minor wonderings.
It may simply be speaking them aloud
to someone I trust.
Or it might be enough to take a pause,
breathe, alter the flow.
Other times I simply must write,
let metaphoric experiences
come alive on paper before my eyes.
The letting go is both from me
and to me.
As this shift in energy suffuses,
I believe the places that have emptied
will fill with what I need
and a sense of safety will
mingle and merge
as I recharge.
I think I must be patient,
allow this to happen in its own time.
As it does I sometimes feel happiness spread.
Like a moment at a concert,
with music of days gone by emanating throughout,
noticing that my face feels strange
and realizing it is because I
had been smiling for quite some time.
Or looking down in awe at the shadow
of my bike wheel,
seeing all parts working in tandem,
 powered by me.
I know I’ve shown great
strength and courage along the way.
This is about opening wide to Universal Love,
letting the recharge happen as it will.
No threat, no shame, no reason to hide.
Simply time to recharge.

Sarah Carlson

July 10, 2018

Right Here

View from the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health

I spent the fourth of July at Kripalu with friends, after which we went to see James Taylor at Tanglewood. It was a truly magical day. While at Kripalu I had a break between activities so I paused and took some breaths. As I gazed out over the lake and mountains I had some wonderful moments of reflection. There I was, 2 years after having attended a writing program with Heather Sellers. Right there in that very same spot where I had set the goal of sorting through my poetry and publishing. But, there was a very big difference. I had my book in my hands. This poem was largely written in those moments.

Right Here

Back again –
in the same place, yet not.
Previous insecurities release,
enabling the dropping in
to widen, become more full.
My tapestry of
images and words,
reflecting the radiance of
so many changes,
continues.
 Hopes,
once felt to be distant,
gently and continually unfold,
reach fruition.
Impediments still occur,
though they are malleable,
less menacing,
easier to transform to truth.
As I sit and settle,
enfold my vitality,
more and more I appreciate
my singular self.
Having felt unheard,
 unseen, unsure
in my past,
I hold tangible evidence
and begin to rest easy.
All which has come
 from going in
is real, valid and right.
I hear, I see,
and I am becoming
more sure.
Those who feel inclined will
listen, notice, acknowledge
and I shall do the same.
I am right here,
gratefully and gracefully
being me.

Sarah Carlson

July 4, 2018