Coming Undone

Coming Undone

It’s coming undone
and I’m so glad.
The tether that kept me bound
to a multi-layered,
completely false sense of responsibility
is frayed and tattered,
only has a few tired strands left.
I’m somewhat in awe
at how well I’ve navigated
all this time with that faulty anchor
impeding my currents.
What a heavy load,
fastened before I knew any better.
At times it is crystal clear
when someone wrongly tries to process
their own stuff through me.
In some ways I seem to be
a bit of a magnet for that.
But, I no longer accept that position
and I’m getting better
 at kindly and gently
fending it off.
It’s the subtle times,
when others almost seem devious
in their attempts to pass the buck,
that still drag me down.
I don’t always catch it
as deep sediments get stirred and
that which reflects back 
seems murky and muddled,
doesn’t match what I know to be true.
Eventually, though, I figure it out,
acknowledge another opportunity to mend.
These last strands,
the inner weave of the tether,
may take more time to let go.
Or, not.
Either way is fine.
I’m just profoundly grateful that it’s
coming undone.

Sarah Carlson

October 9, 2018