A poem about this topic has been on my mind, in my heart, for a while. There is a poem in The Radiance of Change titled The Light of Love that is also paired with this picture. I've come to understand that Light more clearly over time. What follows was written between a tele-med osteopathic treatment in the middle of the day and some very tender time with my mother before she ended up in the hospital later that night. She passed away the next day.
Here I am a week and a half later, finding this piece in my drafts as I remember the many complex facets of our almost 63 years as mother and daughter.
This is a photo of a very special place in my heart - Campsite 11 on Student's Island, Mooselookmeguntic Lake, Maine.
The Light of Love, Too
Freedom comes as one opens
to the Light of Love
without reservation or defense.
Its branches and tendrils,
currents and vapors,
are both earthbound
and lofty.
It is ready and available
for giving and receiving,
for the conduit to be complete.
Vulnerable infant,
wide-eyed toddler,
sweet little girl,
anxious teen…
For all those years love
flowed naturally from her
into her world.
It was reciprocated,
but not always by those
who were the receivers,
so she wondered and worried
that perhaps she did not deserve.
Then, her life and his merged
and she couldn’t help but let
the strength of his love in.
It was truly undeniable.
It provided an anchor and she relaxed
in the flow of marriage, motherhood, and teaching.
Tragedy struck and she became
adrift and unsure once more,
though love still emanated from within.
Her natural propensity to care for others
remained strong
while the sense of possible unworthiness
again took hold in a that deep, familiar place.
Choosing to explore her fathoms,
over time she has learned to let go the pulls,
release the tensions,
allow the full, deep breath
of Spirit to enter,
restore, revitalize.
Slowly, steadily
she internalizes
that she really does deserve
that Light of Love, too.
Nothing to do
other than continue
to learn to allow it
to manifest and bolster
her innate vitality.
Freedom comes as one opens
to the Light of Love
without reservation or defense.
Its branches and tendrils,
currents and vapors,
are both earthbound
and lofty.
It is ready and available
for giving and receiving,
for the conduit to be complete.
Vulnerable infant,
wide-eyed toddler,
sweet little girl,
anxious teen…
For all those years love
flowed naturally from her
into her world.
It was reciprocated,
but not always by those
who were the receivers,
so she wondered and worried
that perhaps she did not deserve.
Then, her life and his merged
and she couldn’t help but let
the strength of his love in.
It was truly undeniable.
It provided an anchor and she relaxed
in the flow of marriage, motherhood, and teaching.
Tragedy struck and she became
adrift and unsure once more,
though love still emanated from within.
Her natural propensity to care for others
remained strong
while the sense of possible unworthiness
again took hold in a that deep, familiar place.
Choosing to explore her fathoms,
over time she has learned to let go the pulls,
release the tensions,
allow the full, deep breath
of Spirit to enter,
restore, revitalize.
Slowly, steadily
she internalizes
that she really does deserve
that Light of Love, too.
Nothing to do
other than continue
to learn to allow it
to manifest and bolster
her innate vitality.
Sarah Carlson
April 21, 2020
Am so sorry to hear your mother's passing recently... Wonderful that you had tender moments to share before she passed! The poem is a lovely tribute to her... Wishing you peace in these troubled times...
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