Newness

Newness

No longer a newborn,
still he can curl up
and sleep soundly on my chest.
Every so often he stretches,
burrows his face,
makes those adorable sounds
that only babies can make.
How sweet it is to hold him close,
feel his full-on trust and love.
When I sit with him
I often think of you.
How you and I soaked in
similar moments with our babies,
both.
How much you would have
loved holding him, too.
Sometimes in quiet moments,
with him in my arms,
gentle tears come.
I miss you in novel ways,
though it has been so long
since I’ve felt your arms
around me.
The underlying emotions also
include a very large dose of joy.
So tonight, on yet another
New Year’s Eve without you,
I honor the varied feelings
that ebb and flow
throughout my being.
 I take a breath
and smile with thoughts
of our precious little grandson,
our wonderful daughter,
a mother.

Sarah Carlson
December 31, 2020