Misty Freedom
In moments least expected,
all can be clear and calm.
Light turns on the darkness.
You are able to close a door
and walk away
with sureness and grace.
Left behind…
a sort of grim energy that was
flittery and jittery,
lurky and murky,
old and cold.
This opens the way
to acknowledge an
embedded anxiety
that you learned to carry,
push through,
work with,
often turn to good.
Though you mostly understand
its roots,
you wonder how it could possibly
have had such a grip
of doubt and fear and threat.
Why did you tolerate it?
What could you have done differently?
Should you be angry at those
largely responsible?
Then you begin to notice times
when that tangled anxiety
is absent.
In that absence
you feel presence, stillness, flow.
You settle into your foundation,
sigh into a misty freedom
from the gloom that obscured,
let go of working so hard
to understand,
and tenderly forgive.
Sarah Carlson
September 14, 2023
This is so sweet, Sarah... "acknowledging an embedded anxiety that you learned to carry" - indeed! I often feel this too - carrying what I have called the "family shadow", especially in my life now. Still carrying the burden that is not mine.... And yes, letting go of working so hard to figure it out, and just settle into my "foundations" and rest... So beautifully said...
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