Grateful

Meat Cove - Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia

I have revisited this picture a few times this week and, as I pedaled on my Thanksgiving bike ride, I realized why. This was taken last summer as a Freewheeling tour guide, Sada, and I headed back to Dingwall to have breakfast while a few hardy souls extended that days' ride. It was the day after an especially formidable ride over two mountains in Cape Breton Highlands National Park and I was feeling so very full and accomplished. That previous day, not only had we climbed switchback roads for mile after unrelenting mile, we also battled very strong headwinds and periods of torrential rain. Without a doubt, it was one of the most challenging days of bicycling I have ever experienced. And I loved it - every single moment of it! One of those moments will remain with me always. It was on a downhill run after the first of the two long climbs - my bike almost blew out from under me as the rain was pelting me from one side. And I laughed out loud with the realization that there was no other place that I would rather be, that I was actually right where I was supposed to be. I felt solid and strong and, though I knew I had another longer, steeper mountain to climb, I had no doubt that I could do it. Sopping wet, slightly chilled, extremely weary - I felt intrepid... and very, very grateful.

Here's a poem rooted in those sensations along with and many other wonderfully healing, enlightening and empowering experiences, both large and small, that I've had over the past several months. 

Grateful

For a heavenly body,
both separate and One.
For obstacles, eddies,
rapids and calm.
For embers, flames,
a sustaining star.
For varied breezes
and fullness of breath.
For the lightness of Love
and moments of Peace.
For chances of change,
opportunities of growth.
For expanding settledness
of inner terrain.
For courage and strength,
wisdom and wit.
For teaching and learning,
mothering and support.
For brisk bike rides
and cozy fires.
For nourishing food
and the sanctity of home.
For enjoying the company
of my very own self.
For the wonder of being -
I am
grateful.

Sarah Carlson

November 26, 2015

One Piece at a Time

Stacking wood took on a new meaning for me as I contemplated the events of Friday night. This has been a time, for me, that inner discoveries and outward connection have become increasingly clarified and solidified. Yesterday as I worked on my woodpile I felt as if my senses, my feelings were especially attuned as I allowed myself to be soothed by the repetitive motions. And this is what came:

One Piece at a Time

A chaotic jumble strewn on the ground,
one piece at a time I make order.
Blue heron soars overhead,
chainsaw whirs in the distance,
trees quake in the roaring wind
as they hold tightly to their roots.
My heart has a soft, sad ache as
I ponder the most recent act of terror.
I am grateful for my calm, cozy home
and I gently realize that all I can do is
continue to embrace the Light of Love
that flows around and through me,
send my own Love and wishes for Peace
out into the world
and keep stacking
one piece at a time.

Sarah Carlson

November 14, 2015

The Light of Love

Student's Island - Mooselookmeguntic Lake, Maine

Well, here I am more than 13 years since Barry died and I've circled around to the deep ache of missing his physical presence. The difference is that I'm okay with it. Well, for the most part anyway. It's there and I know I'm fine, but oh how I would love to have him wrap his arms around me so I could just have a cleansing cry. I've pedaled my bike, acknowledged and honored my feelings, and immersed myself in all that I know is good in my life.  But I just have been having trouble settling. I did recognize some of the energy as 'pre-writing' and so this poem has evolved over the past few days.  This is one that I know will take a little while to live my way into...

The Light of Love

He came into my life exactly
when I needed him.
And though there were many reasons not to,
 I knew enough to trust my heart and let
the Light of his Love
weave its way into my fabric.
Our lives aligned and entwined, our family grew.
Charged with the energy of Love
we encountered triumphs and trials,
joys and sorrows,
reveling in all that we shared.
No longer can he hold me or reflect my essence
with his tender, thoughtful blue eyes.
I can’t grasp his hand as
we walk, talk and ponder together.
At times I still ache for what was,
but his Love remains a part
of who I am right here, right now.
As I heal and grow,
explore and examine,
I more fully understand its omnipotence.
And in fact, the Light of Love
has been a beacon
all along my way -
before I met him and since he left.
I just needed to learn that I deserve it
as much as any other being.
I am not an outsider.
I am as in as I allow my self to be.

Sarah Carlson

November 10, 2015