A World Askew Quiets

A World Askew Quiets

Stepping into clear waters,
 she disrupts the surface,
makes it ripple a bit.
Unsettled sunbeams
wiggle and dance
as her toes sink slightly
into soft sand.
Gratefully, she fills her lungs,
 smiles with simple delight,
starts her gentle morning swim
as cavorting light continues.
Her mind drifts with wonder
at how chaos and calm
can occupy
the very same space,
 images of those interweaving beams
amplifying her awareness.
Buoyant body relaxes,
energy aligns,
spirit enlivens.
The buzzing energy of
a world askew quiets
and she settles ever more deeply
into her lively, loving home.

Sarah Carlson

June 26, 2020

Allow the Clouds

Allow the Clouds

We all know that clouds
come and go.
Sometimes when they
have settled low on the horizon,
they have the potential
to be a bit smothering,
though the waters below
are no less silky.
Their denseness may temporarily
overpower the ease and warmth
of lightness within,
so it is important
to remember that eventually,
no matter what,
they do drift away
with changing winds.
With these understandings aboard
it becomes easier to
allow the clouds
to be whatever, however
they are.
There is always light
above them, behind them.
Whether it be the twinkling stars
and glowing moon of night,
or the gleaming sun of day,
the truth of Light
is undeniable.

 If we do
allow the clouds,
we discover
they, too,
have a necessary
validity

and there is ease 

to embracing it all.

Sarah Carlson

June 23, 2020

On a Clear Day

On a Clear Day

Sliding once again into 

restorative, silky waters

she lays back,

allows natural buoyancy to 

hold her steady and balanced.

So many beautiful 

words have flowed through her 

and into the world. 

She knows they represent

the truth of healing.

With a profound realization
 that she had to fully trust
 her own memories
 of the wound

in order to deeply embody
  those truths,

she again feels something

novel and familiar.

She feels herself.

All the way in,

all the way out.

No need to apologize

or try so very hard.

That's what's happening now -

unlearning the constant sense

that there must be effort 

in order to earn

the right

 to be who she is. 

Letting go the habit of

 waiting with bated breath

to see if she made a mistake

or failed.

Trusting the clarity that's present

on a clear day,

while knowing clouds

will come and go,

but that she didn't cause the clouds.

They are simply there

and will pass.

She can and will continue
to settle more and more
 into the comfort and safety
of being

 at home
in herself.
On those clear days,
any day really,
it's okay to simply be.

Sarah Carlson

June 18, 2020

Let You Be at Peace

Let You Be at Peace

You left so much
for me to sort through.
It's been a challenge,
but more importantly,
 a gift.
It helped me see
that what I remember is true.

The tug of the house
and all it contained was strong,
but the pull of love
has more vigor, warmth,
and radiance.
I knew to follow it,
have done so with
courage and tenacity
that also comes from you.

And so, Mom and Dad,

now it's time for me

 to let you be at peace.

Rest together 

as the struggles
 really are over.

Know that I love you,

always have, always will.

I know you love me, too.
You have my gratitude
and my hope that you
settle into Grace,

be with Love,

rest in Peace.

Love, Sarah

June 25, 2020

This Poetic Me

This Poetic Me

Familiar scenes experienced 

through an ever-changing lens.

Opportunities to explore

that which happened long ago

from the perspective of health.

The unwinding

 of a very complex ravel

without having to analyze

every part of the weave. 

A sense of gratitude 

for things kept hidden away,

though for reasons not fully known,

to be found by a daughter

lovingly sorting through it all.

 Correspondence between

a brother and a sister,

dated September 1964,

hinting at the brokenness

between them.

Journals written by a mother

 infused with deep despair,

detailed descriptions of disquiet.

Letters brimming 

with wisdom and love,

 from an 18, 19, 20 year old me.

All revealing the validity 

of my memories, sensations, 

 bygone distress.  

Sweetly sinking into

 a gentle realigning, 

a truly novel 

sense of balance,

mingled with a recognition

that reflections 

don't have to be fully clear

to allow for the 

peace of understanding

 and the safety of self.

This deep dive into what was

verifies the reasons 

for my careful explorations,

 upholds the exquisite grace

of the images and insights 

that emerge from

this poetic me.

Sarah Carlson

June 13, 2020

 

 

Let Go the Disquiet

Let Go the Disquiet

Her nose wrinkles,

head aches,

chest tightens,

and then something shadowy

that does not have,

or need,

clear definition

goes.

Though wispy and nebulous,

it has a pungent mustiness,

a stale sense of

foreboding.

It curls away in a smoky haze,

taking with it that 

which never really did belong

to her. 

So much harbored in its layers 

wounded her,

and she needs reassurance that

it cannot, will not

hurt anyone else

ever. 

Her wonder-filled wild child 

needs to know

and she's learned to ask

or name or speak

instead of holding on,

holding in,

particularly in this time

of grief and upheaval

 within her being

and in the wider world.

She feels a deep sense of promise

as her beautiful body balances

and she slowly, gently

lets go the disquiet,

hands it over to the Divine,

once again breathes in the

 fresh, clean breezes

 of release, renewal,

and rejuvenation.

Sarah Carlson

June 3, 2020

 

At Home

 At Home

Sorting through a house that 

I don't remember ever feeling much

like a home.

Loaded layers,

varied valuables,

records of ruin,

random, self-serving journals.

Loving, caring, compassionate me.

Gently present as I always have been,

making sense of a tangled mess

that, once unraveled,

reveals truths.

Some that I knew all along,

others that have 

an exciting novelty.

The most important is –

I am safely

at home

in me.  

And, with that on board,

I can forgive,

feel grateful,

 tap ever more deeply into

the Light of Love.

My own gentle presence

lovingly settles 

into the amazing experience

 of being safely

 at home

in me.

Sarah Carlson

June 2, 2020