Actually I'm Not Stuck At All!

Jence to the rescue - December storm 2016

View from my living room - after the storm 2016

As I pondered my sadness during the clean up from the storm of December 29th into the 30th, I wondered, "Am I stuck in grief? Why do I miss Barry so much today, all these years later?" As I said when I posted the poem about that, it felt really GOOD to write it. I was, quite literally, stuck in my house as my driveway was choked with lovely snow. But, was I stuck in other ways, too?
And, as my son cleared out my driveway I had a sudden revelation - actually I'm not stuck at all!!
So - this is what the storm taught me...

Actually I’m Not Stuck At All!!

Deep breaths here….
In, out, in, out…
Ahhhh…. there it is -
the truth!
I’m not stuck at all and,
in fact,
never have been.
I have always kept moving,
sometimes around,
but in recent years
right smack through
the obstacles, barriers
and troubling times
that have been in my way.
And when I feel sadness or grief
or despair - that’s okay!
I’ve never ever wallowed in those
more difficult emotions,
but they’ve been real
and necessary,
mine to experience.
And, just as important -
when I feel joy, triumph,
competence, communion -
 that’s okay, too!
They are also real
and necessary and
mine to experience.
Oh, my gosh,
what revelations!
Ya-hoo - this is wonderful!
Even though sometimes
it’s been hard to move
and I’ve had to strive to put
one foot in front of the other,
actually I’m not stuck at all!

Sarah Carlson

January 1, 2017