I'm Not Sorry

An introvert's way of processing the publishing of her words:

I’m Not Sorry

I’m not sorry that Barry’s death broke my heart
or that it caused me to explore within.
I’m not sorry that I felt lost
or that it took a while to start finding my way.
I’m not sorry for having been in such pain
or for needing to access help
so I could recover.
I’m not at all sorry,
not one little bit,
that I chose to allow fluid, hopeful words
 to cascade around and through,
that I have now let them
glow in the light of day.
I’m going to allow myself to
soak in the splendor of a job well done
as my words of healing and hope
stream and swirl into the world.
I’m going to trust that people
who choose to engage
will let the experience
 take them wherever they need to go,
feel the feelings they need to feel.
I’m going to stay open to tenderness,
 continue to heal,
 and let my voice be heard.
Naturally humble,
I feel grateful
and proud.
I’m not sorry at all.
There’s just no room for that –
not here,
not now.

Sarah Carlson

February 20, 2018