Lonely, Yet Not
I am supposed to feel loneliness right now.
I know this because within this feeling
I am more profoundly discovering me,
my veritable, essential self.
The one who has been there all along,
but had to struggle to exist within
confusing, imposed falseness.
She is lovely and strong,
caring and humble,
creative and intelligent,
graceful and giving.
I love her
and know she is
not really alone.
Tears are flowing from
deep in my soul.
I don’t necessarily have words
to accompany them,
but they do need to flow.
So I let them
and, in tandem,
feel the elation
of settling into the exquisite
recesses of my being.
I am solo right now
with summer here and
no students who need me,
offspring grown
with lives of their own,
soulmate’s physical presence gone.
It’s okay,
I need this.
I’ve worked hard
to land here
in this very spot.
It’s a bit stormy
but I’ve got it.
I’m lonely,
yet not.
I am supposed to feel loneliness right now.
I know this because within this feeling
I am more profoundly discovering me,
my veritable, essential self.
The one who has been there all along,
but had to struggle to exist within
confusing, imposed falseness.
She is lovely and strong,
caring and humble,
creative and intelligent,
graceful and giving.
I love her
and know she is
not really alone.
Tears are flowing from
deep in my soul.
I don’t necessarily have words
to accompany them,
but they do need to flow.
So I let them
and, in tandem,
feel the elation
of settling into the exquisite
recesses of my being.
I am solo right now
with summer here and
no students who need me,
offspring grown
with lives of their own,
soulmate’s physical presence gone.
It’s okay,
I need this.
I’ve worked hard
to land here
in this very spot.
It’s a bit stormy
but I’ve got it.
I’m lonely,
yet not.
Sarah Carlson
June 24, 2018
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