Waves of Fear

Waves of Fear

I don’t really identify with being a fearful person,
and yet I’m feeling waves of fear.
There’s a craving within
to realize that I’m safe.
I’m so very ready for these
waves to fully wash away.
I’m sitting here in my sweet little home,
cradled in memories
of sharing love and life with my soulmate,
 holding and raising our sweet babies,
 finding my way to becoming a teacher.
I can recognize that the body-wracking cries of yesterday
 have mostly subsided,
but still feel unheralded emotions stirring
 as muscles softly twitch, milder tears trickle,
breath seems shallow.
Like the rain cascading outside these windows,
the gentle breeze that blows,
I guess it just needs to happen.
I don’t have to run and hide,
or feel threatened.
I still feel the wish to be held or
at least to hear someone say the words,
“You’re okay, Sarah.
It’s right to let the those waves of fear
roll out and away.
It’s true, you’re safe.”
I’m hopeful this desire
will fade away over time,
or that I will be able to
comfort that tender spot within
for my self.
I don’t think I care anymore
to know exactly
where they originate,
 I’m just trying to believe
 that waves of fear
 simply do not have a place
 in my life anymore.

Sarah Carlson

June 28, 2018