Big, Bold, Beautiful Energy

Clearwater Lake, Maine - September 21, 2017 (photo by Katherine Jones Carlson)

Lower Shin Pond, Maine - September 9, 2017 (photo by Peg Willauer-Tobey)

Big, Bold, Beautiful Energy

I have big energy that,
for varied reasons,
I learned to keep in check.
Many times, in diverse ways, it has
worked to the surface
as it has a boldness all its own.
In those moments I know
I felt good and right.
But there has long been a
subterranean fear that later
made me wonder if
I was wrong,
or if something bad was going
to happen because
I let that vigor flow.
Lately there have been absolutely
beautiful moments when that energy,
my energy,
has billowed and blossomed,
unleashed and unfurled
and I’ve been able to relax,
let it reach fullness.
It’s been hard work trying to keep the lid
on all these years,
and equally difficult
uncovering the triggers and traumas
that anchored the tethers.
No longer do I have to feel fear
in liberating the vitality that is
inherent to me.
I will continue to loosen as
I honor this space
between that which was
and that which can be.
The big, bold, beautiful energy
that is mine,
that is me
need not,
should not,
will not
be denied
 any longer.

Sarah Carlson
September 26, 2017