The Closing, The Opening

 

This is a gift from a kindhearted, sensitive, deep thinking student of a few years back. It's one that I cherish and that helped me in processing what I write about below. I again write with deep empathy for all who are in the field of education right now and with gratitude that I could step out, take a pause.

 

The Closing, The Opening

The best teachers teach from the heart.
I know that to be true and now,
as I adjust to retirement,
I can more clearly
honor that within myself.
Not only did I teach from there,
I live from there, too.
Most teachers I know do.
We are not just bodies in a room,
though it seems, especially now,
that can be how we are treated, thought of.
Yesterday I closed on the sale
of my childhood home.
After the closing I went to order
a headstone for my mom
that will match the Veteran’s stone
that my dad wanted for his grave.
The love of a daughter,
of this human,
was front and center all day long.
And that love, included me.
When I returned to my own home,
my place of refuge,
I was greeted with
what felt like a coldhearted letter
from the school district
where I have worked for over 30 years.
It informed me that my retirement letter,
written with care several weeks ago,
had been received,
with reminders to make sure
I turn in any school property
(which I already had),
and that my school email
will be deactivated so I should
‘plan accordingly’.
I will admit that I had
 fleeting moments of sadness,
which were gently replaced by
 gratitude for my ability to teach,
recognition of my giving and receiving,
peace with my decision.
The closing of a home,
the closing of a career,
the opening of possibilities,
to places and spaces where I will not be
just a body in a room.
Thank you, Sarah,
for teaching from your heart.
 

Sarah Carlson

August 15, 2020