The past two days have been the last ones with students. I am, at this point, retired. So many meanings to that word, but I'm choosing to look at it as a time to allow myself to simply say, "Now what." I don't see it as an ending, but more a beginning. This piece is a part of how I am processing that and so much more that is going on within.
Ever More
Though facets are changing,
the way ahead somewhat hazy,
she is peaceful,
feeling both whole
and holy.
That last part is novel,
though it has been present
in her tenor all along.
She just couldn’t quite
acknowledge it fully
for her faith had been
smothered, too,
by others who once
loomed large.
She breathes,
courageously puts words
to her sense of holiness.
Surreptitious shadows
swirl and slide about.
but they do not
can not,
find substance.
It matters less and less
as to why or where
or how they came
as outward they go,
leaving the way
ever more open.
Relief unfurls
as she breathes
ever more freely.
She smiles a
whole body smile
ever more broadly.
Self compassion renews
as healing finds its way
ever more wholly.
She writes and
again feels held,
trusting that there
is ever more
to refresh,
record,
restore.
Sarah Carlson
June 11, 2021
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