The Fullness of Grief

 

Rarely do I post a photo of me with my poetry. But, this was such a settled moment for me. And, it was my birthday. 

I love to take a slow walk after an Osteopathic treatment and have found such solace along the shores of Casco Bay at Wolfe Neck Woods State Park lately. As I walk along the trail, gaze to the water and sky, listen to ocean rhythms, I can feel things shift and settle. Often a poem starts to form and this is one of those that began stirring a week or so ago, but surfaced all the way today.

For many reasons that are important for me, my own knowing, this year is actually the first time I can fully feel the losses of my life - especially that of my husband. That may seem odd to an outsider since it has been 19 years since he died. But, I am so grateful to be feeling all these feels, that I found my way to where I am right now. To this insider it just feels right.

This piece is again the teacher in me talking. I hope that others may find their way, whenever the time is right, to feeling the fullness that I am experiencing right now.

The Fullness of Grief

As thoughts drift
back to what was
 there can be loneliness,
                            heartache,
                                    longing.
So many of us were taught
to control our tears,
hide our despair,
that there is some sort of order
to grief.
All of that is fallacy.
Body may tighten,
breath restrict
spirit become uneasy.
Yet, when the tension
of unexpressed sorrow unwinds,
when it is allowed to surface
and tears flow free,
one can experience
the fullness of grief.
This is uniquely individual,
can not be prescribed,
should not be judged.
Honor love shared,
comfort an aching soul,
reclaim and rejuvenate
one’s sweet self.
Such is the
power and potential
of enabling
the fullness of grief.

Sarah Carlson
June 6, 2021