There Again

There Again

We went there again.
To the old gray camp that is so close, 

yet so far, from home.
I know you were unsure about going.

I don’t blame you.
But you trusted,
allowed in the safety of now.
I felt your tenseness as we entered the kitchen

through the creaky screen door.
But you started to relax
 as we reached the living room,

sensing the difference
in the atmosphere of the place.
You checked every nook and cranny

with your eyes and your heart,
especially the open porch
with lake breezes wafting around and through.
You so badly wanted the changes
to be real, to be true.
As you turned and walked toward the pantry
 you stopped in your tracks,
taking it in anew.
It was altered
in both appearance and energy,

all traces of alcohol gone,

along with associated tension and angst.

Really, truly no longer there.
I felt your tender essence

infuse with hope, faith, delight –
your face aglow, your eyes a-twinkle,
your body at ease.
Yes, we went there again.
To that place of sadness,
misunderstanding,
and generational suffering.
It took some doing,
but we were solid and sure,
happy in our health,
able to fully accept the veracity of what is,
allow the ferocity of musty memories to wane.
Those dark days are done,
no longer need to produce pain.
Later, sitting by the lake,
watching the clouds drift above
and the loons swim by,
residual wariness and worry slid away,
 replaced with love
and gratitude for having gone
there again.

Sarah Carlson

August 8, 2018