Equilibrium

I've had a hard time deciding whether to include this poem. I'm not sure why, except that maybe it is because I recently thought I had reached a place of tranquility, but somehow there seem to still be things that are obstacles to smooth sailing. I thought I was at a place of deep knowing, but still there is some confusion. But then last night as I prepared this poem to post I realized that I do now deal with issues and concerns in a very different way internally. I am so honest with myself about how I feel and I don't get worried about being taken over by what we in our society often look at as 'bad' feelings. I just acknowledge them and let them be, know they are there for a reason and will eventually flow away to be replaced by other feelings and emotions. Part of what has come from this process is that confusion usually produces new insights. Another important thing that has come is the importance to putting words to my feelings when I feel it is necessary, to not hide from whatever those feelings or emotions might be. And so as I pondered this post it has helped me better see that there is a sense of balance within me and I am happy to acknowledge that.

Someone I once worked with in the area of hypnotherapy, a man named Espahbad Dodd, helped me see that emotions are transitory. That was huge for me at the time and I think it's so important, particularly for people who are grieving. I remember thinking early on in the process that if I let go, let the sadness out, it might take me over. But it didn't. I'm right here, right now typing this and working to put these thoughts and poems together - hoping that there are people out there 'listening' and benefiting from the realizations that came to me along the way.

It just occurred to me, too, that perhaps I'm hesitant about this poem because it was written in the spring as the world was coming alive and days were getting longer. But then I thought that maybe now, as we enter a time when light is in short supply and the holidays are upon us, this is a very good time for this piece. So.... here it is.

Equilibrium

Life -
transitions, cycles, patterns,
change,
motion, balance,
equilibrium.
As I have turned toward the light,
learned to let it in,
let it out,
I have made many discoveries,
had many realizations.
I now understand
that the expression of grief
is good and necessary,
that in recognizing sorrow
one can find reason
and fuel for change.
In acknowledging despair
one can discover pathways
to tranquility.
In order to have balance
there must be opposing forces
and equilibrium,
once achieved,
is tenuous by nature.
The key is to recognize an imbalance
and realize there can be
joy and fulfillment
in working toward
equilibrium.
So in the coming of spring -
season of hope, promise and rebirth -
it seems apropos to know
that it’s not about the amount
of darkness and light,
it’s having the wisdom to observe
and honor both.

Sarah Carlson

March 20, 2007